Member Guest Etiquette

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By TCW

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  • 12 Replies
  1. TCW

    TCW

    I was invited to a member guest, and was wondering if I accept the invitation is it expected that I reciprocate at my club's member guest? The one I was invited to is not cheap ($500-$1000 per man for a 3-day event) and I think we would split the cost.

    I just joined my club last year and it's a fairly high end club that has hosted multiple majors, so I expect our equivalent 3-day event will be at least $2500 per team, if not significantly more. But I really don't know for sure since the event was cancelled last year because of COVID.

    I'm not 100% positive I'll play in mine this year because of cost, but if I did decide to play, I had planned to split the cost with my guest and invite my dad, best friend, etc. Is it bad form to accept an invite to a member guest if I don't plan to reciprocate the invite?

  2. TCW

    TCW

    Also, additional question is what's the best item you've ever received from a member guest and was it worth the entry fee?
  3. Abdon M

    Abdon M
    Northern California (because it's a big state)

    I was invited to a member guest event at a friend's private club, I would have the full intention of "paying my way." In many of these events there usually multiple side bets that can be made and I usually leave that to the member to address since I'm not one who like to do many side bets. I would believe most people who invite someone to a member guest event are inviting that individual because there is some outside golf relationship with the individual. So, with that in mind, it is appropriate to reciprocate the the invite.
  4. John M

    John M
    Aiken, SC Lakewood, NY

    I think it’s fairly common to reciprocate, but I am sure your prospective partner would understand if you wanted to invite your dad for the initial event at your new club. My advice would be to have an honest discussion with the person who invited you. My $0.02 ...
  5. Jonathan Smith

    Jonathan Smith
    Charlotte, NC

    Splitting the cost sounds like a bad idea.
  6. Eric H

    Eric H
    Ridgway, PA

    This is a great question, i am interested to see what some of the members think! Tough call, I dont think its expected to be reciprocated. Gotta take it for what it is, your buddy asked you to play. I think ppl understand that everyone has family and friends they choose for this type of thing. MG's are not cheap!
  7. Jason R

    Jason R
    Ottawa, ON

    Interesting question and one perhaps worthy of a poll.....

    I have pondered the same this a few times, though I have always gone the reciprocal route if applicable. Our member-guest tends to be early in the season here so I am often the first to offer up the spot. I am interested in hearing other opinions.
  8. Jim C

    Jim C
    Duxbury, MA

    My experience - I have never expected/asked a guest to split the cost of any tournaments I invite them to nor do I make such invitation with a tacit understanding that the favor be returned.

    At my club, I'm the host and don't expect my guest to reach into their own pocket for the tournament "proper". Money pools/side bets are a different story and I think most players recognize that.

    When I have been a guest at similar tournaments, I always bring along a gift (nice bottle of wine/booze, gift certificate to nice restaurant, etc.) and always pick up the check for any off course meals.
  9. Brock L

    Brock L
    Fort Myers, FL

    I've never heard of a guest paying for anything at a Member-Guest. I've worked at several high-end clubs, and also playing in a few as a guest, and the member traditionally pays for everything... entry fees, caddies, side bets, etc.

    I would say if you are in doubt, just ask the person who invited you. And yes, it's common to reciprocate. After all, it's part of being a member at a good club.
  10. Frank P

    Frank P
    Port St. Lucie, FL

    Military
    I did a M-G at my club several years ago. Paid for everything involved with the event. Only thing my guest paid for were personal side bets such as skins and raffles. Each participant was given a custom Vokey wedge and a set of 4 crystal 8 oz. tumblers engraved with the club logo. the cost was $1,000.00 per team. In your situation with the cost more than double, I would bag it and invite your guest over for the weekend for golf. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Treat him to a nice logoed shirt or windbreaker. That should be a fair reciprocal.
  11. Chuck Z

    Chuck Z
    Mt Pleasant, SC

    Military
    When I played with a buddy at Sea Pines, Hilton Head he made a point to let me know that I was his guest. I stayed with them. I took he and his wife a couple of bottles of wine and paid for FJ team shirts. We play at the same course here in Charleston. We finished second in our division. Have been asked to play again this year if they have it. Awesome course.
  12. Chuck Z

    Chuck Z
    Mt Pleasant, SC

    Military

    Chuck Z said:

    When I played with a buddy at Sea Pines, Hilton Head he made a point to let me know that I was his guest. I stayed with them. I took he and his wife a couple of bottles of wine and paid for FJ team shirts. We play at the same course here in Charleston. We finished second in our division. Have been asked to play again this year if they have it. Awesome course.

    I paid for any bets or raffles. No worries.
  13. John M

    John M
    Aiken, SC Lakewood, NY

    Jim C offers solid advice. I have a high school/college buddy who invites me to his Member-Guest almost every year. It’s not a huge affair and the entry fee is fairly modest. I offer to pay, but I know my guy will always refuse. I do cover the few side bets and the daily skins game if he lets me. I also provide a gift as Jim suggests.

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